That nerve block

It's Wednesday. I had the nerve block on Friday and I officially think it's worn off. The majority of it seemed to wear off by Monday afternoon which sent me into a funk. I kept getting messages of hope that it might get better or filled with anticipation that this was THE thing that might give me some relief. It felt like trying to be grateful for having 4 fingers cut off when I could have had 5 fingers cut off. Like I knew I should be really grateful for any decrease in pain I experienced, but just so worn out and used up that the idea of being thankful for having one finger instead of no fingers at all seemed almost too much to hold on to. I wanted to hold on it. I wanted to be thankful for that. But to be quite blunt? I want all my damn fingers. I want to not feel this pain. I would trade any other kind of pain on earth for this pain. Literally. I'd even take cutting off 4 of my fingers if it could take away this nightmare.
I'm weary of talking about it. I'm weary of this being such a centerpiece of my life - I used to be MORE than this. I used to be interesting and accomplished. I used to have things to talk about. Now? Now I feel like a used up and worn out old dish rag. There is probably some use for me in some context but it might be more for wiping down a toilet or kept in the garage for the annual car washing event - not the grand dreams I once had for myself.
The thing that makes this even more hard to bear is that for everything we try, there is one less thing that could possibly "fix" me in the future. It's one less possibility that I'll ever feel less miserable again and when there are only a handful of things that remain, it's hard to cope with.