3 Months Post Op

The three month mark has arrived. This is generally where my body starts to even out and go into it's new "normal" state. It seems I'm right on target too - a lot of the menopause symptoms have actually begun to decrease in the last week which has made me pretty happy on many levels. On the flipside, the endo symptoms are reemerging.

Sleeping - no longer am I waking up 10-15 times a night most nights. I managed nearly 8 hours on two separate occasions this week! I can count on 2 hands how many nights I've slept 8 hours in the last 3 years, so this is really encouraging. I felt like a new woman entirely when I woke up! I don't think I can fall asleep on my own yet though as I've tried a couple of times. I cut back the Benedryl to 1 pill instead of 2 and still need melatonin. But one battle at a time, right?

Hot Flashes - the day that I had 30-40 hot flashes, I was over it. After 2 months of having 20+ hot flashes each day, increasing them to 40 almost put me over the edge. Literally, anything would set them off like eating food that was warm, drinking tea, a minor change in temperature, the clothes I was wearing, doing housework, a blanket, a heating pad, a shower, the heat emanating from my husband, going for a walk, and so on. 

The very first one I experienced was the Saturday following the surgery - so all of 5 days later! I had no idea what was happening to my body - it was so all-consuming and instantaneous! My body felt like it was on fire and my forehead was perspiring for no freaking reason! I couldn't get the blankets off me fast enough nor could I get them back on me fast enough once it passed. That's another crazy thing about them too - you go from being on fire to being an icicle in a matter of a few seconds. It's a constant tension between being shivering and being 300 degrees. It makes sleeping a joke too. The blankets go on and off 1000 times. The first time it happened in public was bizarre. I was like, "What on earth is happening to me?!" Adam and I were talking with some friends at Whole Foods and all of the sudden it hit. I tried to nonchalantly unzip my coat and dab the sweat from my forehead and just prayed that no one noticed. It only lasted a few minutes but man was it intense and, sadly, just the beginning of it all. Every night at dinner, it would hit. I would get this premonition type of feeling 3-5 seconds ahead of when it would hit. And boom. My forehead was dewy. My body caught on fire. And there it was. The Hot Flash in all its glory. 

And off came my clothes and then, in rapid succession, I would scramble to put them right back on because I was freezing and shivering! This would continue the rest of the night - 20-40 times for nearly the following 3 months. THEN. On Monday...I didn't have a hot flash. I wasn't sure if I could attribute this to the host of supplements I had added to my already massive thrice daily regime or if...if perhaps, my ovaries might be doing something? Tuesday came and I had one so I assumed it was because I had been lax the day before on my supplements. But then? Then there were no more. It's Saturday today and I haven't had one since Tuesday! 

Insomnia - my mom lived with us for a year during 2014/2015 after she underwent a Gamma Knife procedure for a meningioma (brain tumor) and suffered from severe complications. She was on heavy duty steroids to control the edema in her brain which caused a host of debilitating side effects. One of these side effects was insomnia. No matter how much Benedryl or other sleeping pills she took, her body simply wouldn't let her sleep. If she got any sleep, it was a few hours here and there, but no uninterrupted sleep was to be had. I didn't understand this then. I wasn't sleeping well at that point either, but it wasn't because my body just WOULDN'T sleep. It wanted to sleep, but it was woken up by pain and bladder problems 5-6 times a night. 

So it was still a different story. Well...now? Now I get it. I get it on a whole different level. Notwithstanding the hot flashes and the angry bladder, I flat out haven't been able to sleep since this surgery. It has truly been a bizarre feeling! So after surgery, your body is wiped out. Think of the most exhausted you've ever been, multiply that times 100. There is still anesthesia coursing through your veins so it adds a different dimension of exhaustion. Tack on the most severe pain you've ever experienced, multiply that by 10. That's what you feel like post-op so your body craves sleep so healing can occur. 

But in instant menopause?? Your body laughs at you. Sleep? NOPE. There is no such thing. Two Benedryl, Melatonin and sleep still doesn't come. If I fell asleep, I'd wake up every hour or two and have to take MORE Benedryl and Melatonin just to fall back asleep! It was just absurd. And beyond frustrating. I added in new supplements several weeks ago, and they seemed to help somewhat with sleep...and then? This week, I started to sleep. I slept 8 hours 3 days ago. The next night netted about 6 and then last night, I had at least 7. This is the longest, most consistent sleep I've had in a long time. On average, over the last 3 months, I've slept 8 hours one day per month. Crazy, eh? So needless to say, exhaustion has been part of the routine. 

Itching - Did you know itching is a menopause symptom? I sure didn't, but oh I learned! When your ovaries stop doing their job, they quit producing estrogen which keeps your skin producing collagen. It helps keep your skin moisturized and feeling good. When you all of the sudden stop making estrogen, your skin turns into the Sahara desert. Everywhere. All over. No part of your body is safe from the desert dryness. No amount of lotion could stave off the itching either. I moved to Aragon oil and coconut oil just to see if that would hold the moisture longer. Never in my life have I been able to cover my face in OIL without it resulting in the breakout of a few zits. But that changed once I moved into the menopausal world...My poor husband had to slather my back in lotion or oils multiple times a day because the itching got so bad...and I just couldn't reach it! We were out with friends for dinner one evening and all of the sudden, mid conversation, I realized I was scratching my back like a maniac. It was somewhat embarrassing. At the height of my menopausal hell, I wanted to crawl out of my body because I itched SOOOO bad. 

Rashes - now I haven't honestly been able to figure out if this is menopause or if this is still related to the allergic reaction I had during my surgery. Rashes do occur quite frequently during menopause due to the change in estrogen in the skin. New allergies can occur as well as the skin just becomes more sensitive. Progesterone rashes can also occur too. Since the surgery, I think I've lost count of how many rashes I've had - rashes all over my stomach, hips, and legs were the beginning. This seemed to stem from the glue used on my incisions and took weeks to get rid of.

Then I started to break out on my face. Once that disappeared, I had a new rash on my hip..then again all over my stomach again. Once the rash on my stomach disappeared, a new one appeared on the opposite hip. Sometimes, allergic reactions as a result of surgery can continue for months or years after the incisions heal so there is a chance it could be that. There is no rhyme or reason to any of it so it's difficult to attribute it to either menopause or surgery.

Memory changes - this is another one of those things that is hard to attribute to its actual cause. I had a concussion years ago which impacted my memory. I have an underactive thyroid which also causes brain fog and memory issues so I can't definitively say it's instant menopause or not. We shall see if things improve.  

Skin changes - I look a bit older in my humble opinion...the wrinkles seem to be deeper :) I don't think this has improved yet. 

So with instant menopause potentially wrapping up, what does that mean for me right now?

• Ovarian pain - several days this week, I began feeling ovarian pain. At first, I noticed more after I had eaten so I wasn't sure if I could correlate it to ovulation (potentially) or just with eating. Then yesterday afternoon, the right ovary began hurting and continued to hurt for about 10 hours. While I've had ovarian twinges during recovery, I haven't had any sustained ovarian pain for that length so far. Given the decrease in menopausal symptoms and the increase in ovarian pain, my guess is the ovaries (or at least the right one) is beginning to work again. 

• Shooting pains - well this is one of my classic endo symptoms. When the hormones begin to fluctuate, I get a lot more shooting pains which can occur in multiple areas in my body. This morning and into the afternoon, I've been experiencing shooting pains that make walking uncomfortable. 

After each surgery, I try to not react to how I'm feeling until 6 months out. Generally, around 3 months, I start to get some of the old symptoms back and by 6 months, I really will know how things are going to shake out. It's still a mixed bag, I suppose. I'm THRILLED that I may no longer be in menopause. THRILLED. It's also disappointing to see these other symptoms come creeping back in. Thankfully, the pain level isn't as severe so far and I will pray it doesn't ever get that severe again. Ahh the endo journey.

P.S. Several thousand more dollars of medical bills just came in.  Being sick is so freaking expensive.