Wipe Out: when your brain and body think they are in unison

I had a total wipe out going up the stairs tonight. Full blown. Epic. Herculean, if you will. Clumsiness is nothing new to me regrettably though. For as long as I can remember, I have always walked into door frames, tripped on air, questioned countless bruises of unknown origin and so on. It is part of my "normal".
I have pretty remarkable luck when it comes to uncommon things happening to me. Last summer, I was out jogging when a yellow jacket hornet flew into my face and stung me in the eye. Apparently I also have developed an ever increasing allergy to yellow jacket stings and my half of my face swelled up like a giant pumpkin. It was so bad that I avoided going into public for days and on my first foray out which was to get gas, the woman who drove up next to me starred at me in horror. It was eye opening (pardon the pun) to be looked at with such aversion! A failed attempt at smile did no more to assuage the woman's disdain for my appearance so I was relieved head back home to the comfort of no other glances except that of my own in my mirror.

 The previous summer, while jogging through the neighborhood, a creepy dude with a drone flying above me followed me for a couple of minutes.  I got so ticked off, looked up at it in righteous anger and then unceremoniously face planted into the ground. It must have been a glorious sight. So glorious I assumed I would gain internet notoriety when the creep uploaded it to Reddit or YouTube. I haven't found it yet, but I'm half afraid it will appear someday. Who knows - I could become a meme like this one ------>

A few summers before, while mowing the lawn, I had the disastrous luck of running over an entire nest of yellow jacket hornets. They swarmed me from head to toe, stinging with delight as I ran screaming at the top of my lungs towards the swimming pool. Let's just say I have never been so thankful to jump into a pool in my entire life! Fully clothed and all.
 Fast forward to now - add chronic illness to clumsiness and you have a recipe for disaster. My body is fighting endometriosis (endo) and adenomyosis (adeno) so it's in a permanent state of inflammation. To point to a single area of my body where I hurt is impossible - there are sooo many layers of pain that it's incredible at times. Lately, the back pain has become so intense that accomplishing daily tasks has become difficult. It hurts to move laundry from the washer to the dryer or to the "clean" basket. It hurts to load or unload the bottom shelf of the dishwasher. It hurts to tie a shoe. I often can't stand straight up afterwards. Somedays, I can barely walk. Other days? I can walk just fine other days but you never know for how long.

I've started falling a lot lately and the only thing I can think of is due to the pain. The day before yesterday, I fell going up the stairs. Did a pretty darn good job at stubbing my toe. The food in my lunch takeout container went flying into the air. I cursed. My husband was like, "What are you doing?" I snapped back at him, "I'm falling. Why else would I be laying on the ground?" When you fall with chronic pain, it's incredibly jarring. More jarring than you'd expect and the repercussions can be bigger than the otherwise might be. I had to go lay down for an hour with a heating pad to recover. Just for the record, I've never been described as a dramatic person either.

After doing a load of laundry this evening, it happened again. I fell going up the stairs AGAIN. This time it was epic. My arm twisted when I tried to grab onto the corner of the hallway catching my hand between the knuckles. The left knee crashed into the floor and I laid in the fetal position cradling my arm for a couple of minutes. If I have learned nothing else though my years of clumsiness, ice is important! Ice that sucker asap so that's what I did. Packed both sides of my hand with ice!
 I think my brain must believe that my legs are doing what they are supposed to do while my legs can't physically do what they should be doing. My theory is the pain is blocking the receptors between my body and my legs so everything is getting miscalculated. It doesn't feel like my normal clumsiness. It's far more frustrating than my normal clumsiness too. I'm so thankful to be out of bed and doing normal things but I suppose that is one luxury my bed does provide: safety.  I haven't figured out how to fall out of my bed just yet.  But give me time. I may just surprise us all.